The Plan

I have never achieved much in life, I tried calling myself Tung the Third (To make myself sound cooler than I am)*, but it just seemed like too much work.

I tried playing the lotto a couple o times (the fact that I am up blogging and not partying with the puff myster and Paris is testament to the fact that I still haven’t won). To tell the truth I have had a lotto ticket in my wallet for about 3 weeks. I might be a multi millionaire as we speak but I can’t be bothered to check to see if I won.

Then there was my attempt at becoming an urban legend……

I Think I epitomize the concept of slacking, I contemplated wearing some diapers driving all the way to Chicago, Kidnap Stedman and knock him out the out the box and get Oprah all to myself. But I still haven’t even figured out where I can buy grown up diapers.

I tried to steal glasses from restaurants, had a friend come in from out of town and was clearly outclassed in my restaurant glass stealing capabilities. I am still traumatized by my inability to steal glasses this past weekend. Thing is not only did it not happen once but on two occasions.


I think I have had enough! I am going to do something and accomplish it!!!!!!!!

My NEW plan for this summer, is to not go to the same bar twice!!

To put it mildly New York City is a Big Big place, and I only ever go chill at the same few bars. I need to diversify my portfolio. Also if I am going to be stealing glasses. its best to steal from a bar and not go there for a minute.

My only exceptions to the rule are going to be nightclubs and poetry spots, my five favorite neighborhood bars***. and places where I am going to meet people.

Its time for a change, I am going to do something and stick to it, and then I can feel I have accomplished something. Summer officially starts in June, so between June and September we will see how it goes…………..




Well maybe one more exception if someone is going to buy me alchohol, Ill fly all the way to Nebraska, not once but maybe 6 or 7 times and go to the same bar, just as long as the alchohol is free! Infact for that I may even get some diapers and drive all the way non stop.



* This is not to say that I am not cool.**
** Well at least if Oprah ever asks I am the coolest dude on the planet
*** Something to do with local economy and laziness………..