home???

I’m on my New York……

I think I said, I was gona pick 5 bars that would be my only bars in the hood I would go to on a regular basis for the summer.

Summer kicked off over last weekend.

I can’t choose which bars I should call home *, I think I am just going to go wherever the wind takes me and those 5 are going to be the ones.

The last month or two has been good for me, Had my sis come in from Zim, Gene, Michelle, and Nina, come thru so far. Carol, Nyasha, Tim, Martin, and others not yet confirmed scheduled to make an appearance. Its looking for the most part, like a friend is going to be here every other weekend. It’s beautiful!

Then there are all the new NY Based friends I have made!!!!! And the crowd I have been hanging out with the last year or so.

It’s really starting to feel like home………

Yeah, yeah I know everyone else pays a hell of a whole lot less, with more living space, and all that Blah blah blah blah.

But it’s really starting to feel like my American hometown now.

Now if only we can trade, Stephon Marbury and Stevie Franchise for Kobe………




* I live just off a strip with bars and restaurants, so there are quite a few.

Even more famous online

Last couple of weeks, I have introduced more friends to my blog...

mostly negative things I here, like...

" Dude you need to seriosuly consider getting a life...."

"Tunga I think you need help"

"i think you are loosing it"

So much for my expansion idea, maybe i should just stick to all two of my easy to amuse current readers*.

Moving on.... i decided to join Facebook for real for real, I dont see me actively bieng active. I think i sent one or two friend requests to people i have no communication with whatseover, but thats about it. I guess i am going to let Oliver Mapfumo die.



* No offense.

Im famous online

I am continuing with the whole Oliver mapfumo thing, On Facebook.

Been looking up friends, sending them invites, with very personal messages attached.

Like




Hey Nzido,

Been a long time, I remember when you had six run's in six over’s back in form 2, I hope things are good, and hope your mother has stopped giving you shady haircuts...



First of all Nzido, is a nickname that only a close friend would know, the crack about high school and miscellaneous items like that would be enough for you to think this person knows who you are. Unfortunately, no one is accepting my friend requests.

Apart from my Friendster antics (or was that Facebook?), im in a good mood, I figured out how to remove that annoying message at the bottom of my emails that say "sent from my blackberry". Contrary to popular belief, I am not actually trying to let people know I’m emailing from my phone.

I also changed my picture on my msn messenger; I’ve had enough of the craks about my chicken picture*.....



* The one up there

Office space?

Just watched office space fully.

Hung out at a co-workers recently, watched half the movie but had to leave cus it was late and had to work early the next morn.

I think “im gona have to ask…” all my friends that are gna get their first job in corp America to not watch this movie…..

I think ryt now” I’m gna have to go ahead” ….and put this flick above the first star wars movie*.

…


*First Star Wars, Movie being episode one.

commercial beer

I ran out of my pale ale, all that was left in the fridge was Corona*.

I just wanted to put this out there.

Commercial beer, just like commercial music sucks.







* stolen from a roomate

Immigration

I was reading up on the new Immigration laws.

I guess if you are illegal, paying $5 000 in penalties $2 000 in processing fees and going back home for 10- 13 years, b4 u can come back is not a bad deal..........






Immigration: The Human Cost

Facebook

Facebook, just seems like the In-thing-to-do, and I am not a conformist, and I told myself that all the other little nonsense things I do to waste time like cleaning my room, showering and blogging are enough.

So I joined Facebook, Right now I cant see much, cant see anyone’s profile, and no one is accepting my friend requests. I am not sure if this has anything to do with the fact that I didn’t use my real name. To tell the truth one of my friends realized that anyone that would come up with a nom-du-plum as original as "Oliver Mapfumo" had to be me, Or was that Thomas Mtukudzi I forget***.

Come to think about it, maybe I should have just gone for Tawanda, Tendai, Lovemore or Ross. I didn't think the name was that bad? I am sure there must be someone in ZImbabwe called Oliver Mapfumo...... If there are babies in the United States called ESPN, then what is so ridiculous??

Right now, I am trying to figure out, if I had a point to get at in this blog*,

For now I am going to leave Facebook alone, seems cool. Seems to have more people that I know than hi5. Maybe eventually ill get around to getting on it legit. I think Ill spend my time cleaning my room for now, who knows maybe oprah will call one day and want to come through. My more immediate concern is that the roaches I thought I was living peacefully with, have decided to move out cus of the mess.

Then again maybe next year Ill clean my room****.




* Like how I do on every other post**.
** That was an attempt at humor***.
*** Pinky give up if u haven’t gotten it already.
**** I guess the only perk of not having a girlfriend.

The Plan

I have never achieved much in life, I tried calling myself Tung the Third (To make myself sound cooler than I am)*, but it just seemed like too much work.

I tried playing the lotto a couple o times (the fact that I am up blogging and not partying with the puff myster and Paris is testament to the fact that I still haven’t won). To tell the truth I have had a lotto ticket in my wallet for about 3 weeks. I might be a multi millionaire as we speak but I can’t be bothered to check to see if I won.

Then there was my attempt at becoming an urban legend……

I Think I epitomize the concept of slacking, I contemplated wearing some diapers driving all the way to Chicago, Kidnap Stedman and knock him out the out the box and get Oprah all to myself. But I still haven’t even figured out where I can buy grown up diapers.

I tried to steal glasses from restaurants, had a friend come in from out of town and was clearly outclassed in my restaurant glass stealing capabilities. I am still traumatized by my inability to steal glasses this past weekend. Thing is not only did it not happen once but on two occasions.


I think I have had enough! I am going to do something and accomplish it!!!!!!!!

My NEW plan for this summer, is to not go to the same bar twice!!

To put it mildly New York City is a Big Big place, and I only ever go chill at the same few bars. I need to diversify my portfolio. Also if I am going to be stealing glasses. its best to steal from a bar and not go there for a minute.

My only exceptions to the rule are going to be nightclubs and poetry spots, my five favorite neighborhood bars***. and places where I am going to meet people.

Its time for a change, I am going to do something and stick to it, and then I can feel I have accomplished something. Summer officially starts in June, so between June and September we will see how it goes…………..




Well maybe one more exception if someone is going to buy me alchohol, Ill fly all the way to Nebraska, not once but maybe 6 or 7 times and go to the same bar, just as long as the alchohol is free! Infact for that I may even get some diapers and drive all the way non stop.



* This is not to say that I am not cool.**
** Well at least if Oprah ever asks I am the coolest dude on the planet
*** Something to do with local economy and laziness………..

My Hero

I have been having trouble blogging and sleeping, I have been stressed. Too much going on, I have been consumed trying to figure out what part of Queens Peter Parker* comes from, and whether or not Oprah cares that I live in the same borough as Spidey.

I have also been thinking about creating my own superhero, that will cater for people like me .
Who cares about mutants, and billionaire boys??

First of all my super hero, would be cool (much like me). Unlike Clark, Peter, Tony or Bruce my dude is gona be a hero in the daytime and Hero at Night. I’m thinking a Fireman AND Policeman (Daytime), and at night is when his real super heroness comes out.

He is gna be a super bartender, the kind that will confuse $10.00’s for $100.00**. The kind of bartender that will sacrifice his whole paycheck to buy patrons drinks. The kind of bartender that will not only hear you bitch about the ex, but use his connections at the police department to tow her car, and connects at the fire department to burn her house down…***

Id like to point out that my blogging may or may not have anything to do with two free drinks that I received earlier on tonight. But If I had to make my own super hero it would be a bartender, that saves lives by day and gets me drunk by night..

And maybe my hero will work side by side with my ideal girlfriend that will work at starbucks during the day, and work at the bar by night…

Actually, anyone that would get me free Starbucks or Beer would be a hero in my books….*****





Don’t front tho, the character would be interesting…..








* That’s Spiderman Pinky!!
** Like buying a $10.00 drink with a $10.00 bill and getting $90.00 back…..
*** I know, I know, why am I still single????
**** I know, I know know low standards***